Life Continues to Suck
It seems like
I’ve almost come to a dead-end as far as therapy goes. As a
result, I’ve stopped going for the time being. I don’t plan to stop permanently. Just for maybe a month or two.
Things are pretty much all up to me now. I was feeling pretty good for about 6 weeks).
I’m sure my switch from Prozac to Effexor XR had something to do with that.
Lately though I’ve been rather down. I’m not really sure why.
But I don’t know what to do… I’ve been talking about school for
the past year but I can’t motivate myself to do anything about it.
One good thing I can report with regard to myself. I finally got
my Computer Hard drive situation squared straightened out (I
think…). I don’t know why it took me 9 months to make a simple phone
call, but I finally (!) did. It took all of 2 minutes. The tech told me where I had to go in setup in order to disable RAID. I’d have sowrn I’d checked everwhere. But somehow I missed that one menu…..
In any event, I’ll finally truly have two separate usable hard drives, one of which I will devote to anything but Windows (e.g. Linux).
Now
all I have to do is sort through 9 months of stuff in my "Stuff"
folder. There is no use in backing up umpteen gigabytes of stuff that
I no longer have use for.
Naturally, I’ve been putting that off.
Well, I did start on it about 48 hours ago, but I’ve been going in
spurts. I figure I’m halfway done. Disabling RAID will wipe my hard
drives so I have no choice.
Speaking of computers, my mom’s 75th birthday was on September 2nd and I
wanted to get her something special. Seeing how I have very few
expenses, I decided to take $1000.00 or so and buy her a new computer
and monitor. Her previous computer is over six years old. She’d
also been green with envy ever since she saw the LCD I bought with my
new computer last December.
So, I got her a new LCD and a computer. They are pretty cool. I’m
actually jealous of one thing her computer has that mine doesn’t A DVD±R/RW drive with Lightscribe. 
She’s mostly been pining for a LCD for the past year. My plan was for
it to arrive a day or two before the computer (both being surprises)
but J&R had other ideas. I ordered the LCD from them and the
computer from Buy.com. I actually ordered the monitor first (a
day before the computer) and asked for the cheapest shipping option for
both.
Alas the computer arrived almost a week before the monitor did. And
just because bad luck likes to chase me around. We had to return the
monitor because it was defective. The replacement they sent was also
defective. So, they sent a third one out. So far so good. The first one
would not wake up after being in suspend mode and the second one had a
bent jack on it, so we could not attach the cable.
It all happened so fast that I dropped both bad monitors off at UPS at the same time to be shipped back to HP.
In spite of it all she’s very happy with her new computer and monitor.
Naturally
though she’s had to find something to complain about though, so she’s
bitched about the boxes and not knowing where she’s going to store
them. And she’s bitched about her old computer taking up space.
I’ve
felt compelled to tell her "Why don’t you just give me your new stuff
back and keep the old and that way you won’t have to worry about this?"
Moving right along…
I
kinda thought I’d be starting school around this time, but it looks
liike I’ll have to wait till Winter. I just coudn’t find the energy to
deal with it and honestly I’m scared of it. I know it’s something I
have to do though. I’ve got to find a way to move forward and get on
with my life.
I guess one reason why I relate to people so much
younger is, I feel that way myself. At least when it comes to what I
want to do when I grow up. I have no fucking clue. I have some idea,
but I don’t know how it will pan out.
I do feel like an alien
though. I’m not sure I can relate to anyone, regardless of age. Trust
me, I come across quite differently in person. To begin with, I’m
painfully shy at first. I’m also not comfortable in group settings.
Especially not large groups. So, I don’t know how that will affect
school, but we’ll see I guess.
